Regulatory dinos?

It's been a while since this section of the blog's been given a dusting.  But hearing news about the energy regulatory, just had to quickly pop something up in relation to its communications sister.

"Ofgem going to do what?  Pinch me, I must be dreaming.

A regulator potentially (will believe it when they slap the first energy company) doing something that will be beneficial to the consumer?  Oh my!

Now, will whimpering Ofcom please come out of the corner.  Pop back to elementary school - to learn the meaning of the term 'unlimited'.  Bare those plastic teeth, and stand up, to the telecom run-arounds."

Ofcom emergency

As of monday 8th September 2008, if you have an emergency (slightly burnt toast doesn't count as one), and sitting in front of a pc;  you should be able to use your voip provider - for most of us that'll be skype, to make that emergency call.  But it applies to other software voip's out there as well.

And about time to.

As Ofcom says...

'From 8 September revisions to General Condition 4 came into force. These revisions mean that VoIP providers who enable their users to make calls to the PSTN (i.e. make calls to telephone numbers) must provide the ability to make “999” and “112” emergency calls.'

Would still keep a mobile handy, next to the bed.  Just in case that raging fire takes down your phone line.

AOL (revisited)

Once more AOL/Carphone warehouse have been at it, from 22:47hrs on the 19th march 2008, the line went down and has so far (now 13:37hrs) stayed down!

Initially only for about 10 minutes, but then it went back down and with it, any chance go getting in customer services until 8am in the morning. So there was nothing to do but tidy up the desktop and head back into the other room to get back to what the vast majority of people would be doing at that time of night, watching the not so square box in the corner, with a very strong cider and snack food.

7.45am arrived. Switched on the modem, hub, router, pc. The routers light's popped on one by one, except the internet one which stubbonly flickered red or remained blank. Took the phone in hand and waited for 8am and with the last number dialled as 7:59 and 59 seconds turned over, I was amazed to actually get through within 20 seconds, a definite first.

So once more it's a network outage, she had no idea why, just that it was an outage been looked into by their technical support people. I viciously doused the thoughts of they need retraining, from reaching handset and expressed my disappointment at been an aol member for over five years to be treated so badly.

She promised it should be up and running in at least two hours time, and with the time now at 13:38hrs there is still no connection.

I believe my grounds for leaving this crumbling edifice of broadbandhell are increasing leaps and bounds.

Death of illegal p2p by 2009

So Margaret Hodge MP and others believe that ISP's should be made the new policemen of the UKs Interpipeways.

In one very great respect, you should say yes. There is an obligation for the people who create the software to be paid for their work, time and ingenuity; if that is what they wish. But I'm not to sure there are that many people out there, who think that Microsofts five versions of Vista with associated crop of problems they're causing (to anyone with legacy components) are truly worth the exorbitant cost of a single, not already installed, purchase.

I wonder, how many people out there have, over the many years, started off in graphic design or programming; by downloading or been given a copy of Photoshop or visual basic? People who have then gone on to become successful business people. In companies which purchase full bloated software packages with associated number of licenses and tie-ins.

Introducing this measure will be another way of ensuring that the majority of those who are financially under-achieving, will remain so. Without a hope of gazing into a future of vibrant possibilities.

Illusionary broadband

Looking at an advert from Tiscali.co.uk and reading the blurb Superfast Broadband for £6.49 for the 1^st 3 months, then £12.99. I thought, oh could this be a wonderful new service, offering more than be.com? Perhaps creeping up from behind the field to snatch premier position, scattering the opposition to the winds in disarray; blowing them all away with a spectacular 70Mbs service? No! Tiscali's definition of Superfast broadband is, 'up to 8Mb*'!

For many years we have been promised faster broadband, which would do away with that nasty roof-top aerial or podgy uglier exterior satellite. Un-interruptible streaming films, rock-steady tv programmes, downloading everything at the click of button like water from an open sluice. And just as the promises have been so atmospherically high, so services have stratospherically failed to materialise, and the ISP's have been trying to weasel their wording into making below average service provision look fantastic. But, I suppose unlike snake-oil salesmen, they do actually supply something that works.

Now doing a search of the terms fast and superfast brings up some interesting definitions.

Fast

From answers.com - a site I'm enjoying using as it splurges a plethora of so much useful information down a page, practically complete, even with translations. Reasons for having more than ten tabs open within my browser are rapidly diminishing. So what does answers.com definition come up with.

1. Acting, moving, or capable of acting or moving quickly; swift.

From chambersharrap.co.uk

fast adj (faster, fastest) 1 moving, or able to move, quickly. 2 taking a relatively short time. 3 said of a clock, etc: showing a time in advance of the correct time... ... pull a fast one colloq. to cheat or deceive.

But I am coming around to the opinion that tiscali are using the ChambersHarrap colloquial definition, and trying to pull a fast one!

Super

From chambersharrap.co.uk

super- prefix, forming adjectives, nouns and verbs, denoting 1 great or extreme in size or degree • supermarket. 2 above, beyond or over • superscript • supernatural. 3 higher or more outstanding than usual • superhero. Compare hyper-.

So, with Super and Fast conjoined something spectacular should be on offer. But in the real life tiscali and for that matter any other ISP can get away with advertising Superfast broadband at only 8Mb*, showing both guard dogs (ASA and Ofcom) have teeth as sharp as rubber gloves, effectively blunted by the industry.

Now why did I start this... Ah yes! I don't for one moment expect to experience as the norm, speeds upwards of 100Mbps at any time in the next five to eight years. Maybe 30Mbps. But then the holographic advertising and moving displays will be another headache. And by then who will really care that the speed they're getting is less than a fiftieth the advertised offerings!

*Unless of course, in the small print, they've mentioned that speeds are 'as compared to a tele-typewriter'.